The Eye of the Raven
by Moonlit Goddess12
Summary: Four years after the death of Raven, 19 year old Beast Boy is still miserablely alone and devastated. Will a mysterious stranger be able to uncover his past and help him cope? Who is she and where did she come from? BBxRae
1. Tears of the Sea

**I wrote this story in my free time, and it turned out better than I thought it would. I've had this idea in my head for a really long time, so I'm quite pleased that I finally have it written down. I have the first six chapters written out, working on the seventh.**

**This story takes place four years after the Titans have disbanded and after a certain accident has happened. The main character is a 19 year old Beast Boy, though his name is never really mentioned except for in flashbacks. It's a lot of angst mixed with romance, one of my favorite kind of fics! I'm not really into introducing new characters, but I've made my own, coming up in the third chapter. So read and review!**

A crystal clear teardrop plunged into the dark water below. Another dropped onto a nearby stone and slid to the ground, only to be washed away by the slow, dreary tide. The producer of the tears looked out at the sea, out to the city which was one great, now fallen to the darkness of evil. Slowly, the memories crawled back into his mind. He tried to stop them, but they were too powerful to forget.

_-Flashback-_

_"Raven!" the changeling called, running through the corridors of the T-shaped tower. "Oh, Raven!" he called in a humorous manner. He was looking for her, racing through the tower. He abruptly bumped into something._

_"Ow," the empath mumbled, rubbing her head._

_"Raven! Heh, heh, whoops . . . I've been looking for you!" the green boy grinned._

_"I know," she grumbled in false anger. "What do you want?"_

_"Uh, well, heh, um, uh, er, duh . . ."_

_"What?" she growled in fake annoyance._

_"I wanted to tell you something . . ."_

_"Okay . . . what is it then?"_

_"It's been on my mind . . ."_

_"So?"_

_"Well, this is really hard to say . . ."_

_"Just say it already!"_

_"Raven, I think I lo—" He saw something flicker across her eyes. The alarm sounded._

_-End Flashback-_

Painfully, he slammed back into reality. _No, _he thought, _bring me back. Leave me in my memories. _More tears escaped from his devastated green eyes. _Please, _he begged, _don't let me stay in reality. _Back in his memories, he was safe, away from all the pain and agony in the world. That day, the day it happened, he never got to finish his sentence. He never told her that he —— but it didn't matter now. Nothing mattered now.

But it did matter. What had flickered across her eyes that day? Could it have been emotion? Sadness? Pity? Sympathy? Could it have been love?

He would never know. So much raging emotion had gone through him that day, he remained numb ever since. _Why! _he screamed in his mind, and let himself slip into another memory.

_-Flashback-_

_"What's the trouble?" the half-robot asked quickly as he ran into the main room, followed by a flying alien, a half demon, and a green changeling. The Boy Wonder looked up from the computer._

_"It's Red X."_

_-End Flashback-_

_No, no! _he screamed in his thoughts. _No . . . _

No matter what, the pain always returned. No matter what, he always found himself back in reality, his cold, harsh, distant companion.

It had been four years since he began feeling this way, looking for any way to escape the pain. Four long, agonizing years, with so many more to come. He didn't believe he could continue with a life without ––– there was just no hope left. Nothingness had become his closest friend, all he had left.

A life without love was unbearable, and a life without her was impossible.

His long green hair fell into his eyes as he gritted his teeth, trying to fight back another memory.

_-Flashback-_

_"Titans, GO!"_

_The green boy morphed into a tiger as the empath summoned forth her inner strength: "Azerath Metrion Zinthos!" The alien fired up her powerful green energy balls while the half robot fired up the sonic cannon built directly into him. The leader pulled a handful of weapons out of his belt and readied for battle._

_The masked criminal dropped from a tree._

_"Well, well. Very impressive."_

_-End Flashback-_

He tried to hold back his angry tears, but he was far from control. Silently, his salty tears mixed with the salty ocean water. _Why? . . . . _he thought numbly. It was the same question he'd been asking for four years. _Four years! _he screamed silently. Ever since that day, everything had changed. Everything.

He didn't want to think about it. No, he wouldn't think about it. He refused. But no matter all his mind tried to convince him that those terrible thoughts and dreadful memories would no longer invade him, he knew they would return. They would always return.

He clenched his fists and glared angrily at his reflection in the water. He splashed at it in rage. _Yes, destroy the bad boy. Yes, yes, YES!_ his thoughts said maliciously. He furiously began hitting his reflection in a mad manner. But nonetheless, he stopped and hot tears stung once more in the corners of his eyes and he watched the tears drop slowly into the dead water beneath him.

He looked up at the wreck he used to call home. Glass was shattered; grime covered what was left of the windows. The plant life around it was withered and dead, and the sea around that no longer had a blue sparkle, but instead it was a black lull of water. How he used to love that lovely blue, seemingly stretching on forever and for all eternity. It seemed impossible, yet so believable when he used to gaze at the vastness of its eternal beauty.

There was only one other thing that had eternal beauty.

His tears came more rapidly now, the memories had returned. _No,_ he pleaded, _please, leave me alone._ He closed his eyes tightly. _Let me forget. Don't allow me to remember and suffer any longer._

But his pleas were not abided.

_-Flashback-_

_The masked criminal chuckled slyly. "The Teen Titans. What a surprise," he mused sarcastically. His absolute nonchalance began eating away at the five teens' insides. How they despised him._

_"Well, what are you waiting for? I'm right here," the villain taunted, as if waving food in front of a starving dog. The leader gritted his teeth and clenched his fists._

_"Titans, attack!"_

_-End Flashback-_

He stared to nowhere, his green eyes having lost their glitter, now dead and cold. He was lean, but not because he was watching his diet, but because he did not feel like eating, and only did when he felt that there was no point not to.

He remembered a time long ago when he used to stuff his face with tofu with his best friend, a half-robot. Such distant memories . . . so far away . . . .

His surroundings were bleak, lacking of color or happiness. All of the happiness had been drained a long time ago . . . so long ago . . . .

How he hated his life.

He had lost everything. Anything that was ever close to him was gone.

His parents had been murdered. His first friend deserted him. His closest friends abandoned him.

And the one he loved most had been killed.

Staring out at the fog gathering over the water, all he could do was sit there, listening to mournful whisper of the wind and feeling the cold tears trickle down his cheeks.

**So what did you think? Good? Bad? Any suggestions? Please R&R!**


	2. Tears of Memory

**I'm back with a new chapter. It's been a few days, I know, but I'm updating! Now, this chapter is somewhat slow and unimportant, but I needed to add it in for purposes that will come later. It's also rather short, so I'll try to get the third one up soon (I'll be introducing the new character! Yay!).**

**Thanks for reviewing, people!**

**Monchhichi: Thanks! I like depressing fics too, which is weird, but I still can't resist them!**

**GarfieldBeastboyCipes-RachelRavenStrong: I'm updating now, and thanks for putting me on alert!**

**lil xelle: I know it's sad, just the way I like it! Oh, and you'll just have to wait and see if she comes back: )**

**KuroNeko1392: Thank you for loving it! And you're going to have to wait and see, too: ) : ) : )**

**Now, on with the chapter!**

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Sitting there on that same rock was all he could do. This was the place were many things happened. How painful it was to remember. 

_-Flashback-_

_"But that beast –––__it's still inside of me. I can feel it."_

_"Good. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be here right now. Having that beast inside of you doesn't make you an animal. Knowing when to let it out is what makes you a man."_

_He looked up at her and gave her the biggest, best, most genuine smile he could._

_-End Flashback-_

It was one of the best moments he could have had. And it was gone. Forever.

Thinking back more, he could see another distant memory. This one was one of the greatest. He was close to telling the truth that day . . .

_-Flashback-_

_"I wanted to say I'm sorry," he said through the door.  
_

_"But you're not the who–––"_

_"No. I'm sorry he broke your heart."_

_"I know it was all a lie," she said slowly, "but he was the only one who didn't make me feel––– creepy. And don't try to tell me I'm not."_

_"Okay, fine," he said, shaking his hands, "you're way creepy. But that doesn't mean you have to stay locked in your room." He paused. "You think you're alone, Raven, but you're not."_

_The door separating them slid open, and she wrapped her arms around him as she embraced him in a powerful, heartfelt hug. At first, he didn't know how to react, but then as they pulled apart, he opened his mouth to tell her the truth._

_-End Flashback-_

He grudgingly pulled back into reality, slowly the pain returning like venom of a snakebite, spreading to every last cell of his body.

_No, you can't! _he screamed defiantly in his mind. _You can't take her away! You CAN'T!_

He gazed angrily out at the water, fighting the internal pain, even though he knew it was of no use. He could feel it in the core of his heart _––– _the pain would eat at him until the day he died.

Staring out into the fog, he clenched his fists and screamed. He screamed with agony and sorrow, pain and suffering. He screamed long and hard, reaching to the ends of the universe.

But no sound came out of his mouth.

He held his face in his hands, weeping sorrowfully. _I can't . . . it's just . . . _he thought despairingly. A stifled sob escaped his lips.

And when he looked up, he realized that he was not alone.

**Like it or not? Review!**


	3. A Stranger From the Mist

**Hey, I'm finally back with an updated chapter. Sorry it's been a while, with finals coming up and everything. Plus there's the holidays and SO MUCH HOMEWORK OVER BREAK! Not that you people care, but oh well.**

**I'm finally introducing my new character. I hope you like her!**

**Oh, and GarfieldBeastBoyCipes-RachelRavenStrong tells me that she heard it isn't allowed to reply to reviewers in the beginning of chapters, so I'm going to play it on the safe side and not reply (sorry!)**

**Now that I'm done babbling, here's the chapter!

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His eyes raised to meet a stranger's view. She was silently emerging from the mist. Her pale white feet gracefully moved over the water.

He looked closer. Her feet did not sink; she was walking on the water.

Tiny ripples were created every time her delicate toes reached the water's surface. The chilly breeze blew her iridescent white hair and flowing white dress back. Mist swirled around her, twirling around her body gracefully. Her eyes were phosphorescent with white power, a faint aura of lavender on the edges.

He gazed at her absently. There was no reason for alarm. Maybe she would put him out of her misery . . .

She stepped closer, closer, until she reached the shore of his little island of loneliness. The glow in her eyes faded as her feet found solid ground. The light dissipated until her irises were visible.

He glanced up at her, and his breath stopped short. Those eyes ––– they were a beautifully stunning amethyst. They reminded him so much of –––. He looked away.

_Why are you sitting here alone? _The message was heard, but it was not physically spoken. He looked up at the stranger.

_Why are you here in these shambles?_ The message came again. She had not spoken, but he could feel the words brush across his mind, telepathically. His lips began to form words, but he was interrupted.

_Why are you silent? _Watching the girl, with her eyes gazing far away, pale lashes never blinking, he began to speak. How strange it felt to say anything out loud. He hadn't done so for what seemed like years.

He began with a simple question, his tongue slowly remembering the proper way to form words. "What is your name?" he inquired softly.

For the first time, the girl looked down at him, straight into his eyes. _I have not a name._

Her intensity was frightening, her absolute solemn nothingness overpowering. "Neither do I," he responded quietly, looking back down at the rocks.

_Yet you do._ He quickly raised his head again. How could she know? It was impossible . . . yet she was so mysterious, he couldn't know.

"How did you –––"

_I know many things. I can see into people's souls._ His eyes widened. It was if she were emotionless, a walking robot. She never moved as she was communicating, standing so completely still.

"You ––– can? Then you can see into mine?" he asked tentatively.

_Yes. _she answered silently. _But I have not yet._

His interest was dying. This stranger was unique, but what was the point of listening? What was the point of watching? What was the point of anything? "Do what you want," he answered carelessly.

Suddenly, he had the strangest sensation. It was as if someone was sifting through his thoughts, emotions, and feelings. Flashes of previous encounters whisked past him as different emotions passed through him. He felt like someone had dove into his heart and gone through all its contents. His lips parted, and his eyes glowed a white with lavender around them as his soul was being torn through.

Finally, he was relieved. The glow faded, and everything resumed to normal. He clutched the left side of his chest. His heart was beating rapidly.

His gaze returned to the girl; a glow from her eyes was fading. As she exited his soul, she took a shocked step backwards. He watched her movements carefully.

Her eyes were wide, as if she had been so startled that she was completely taken aback. He heard her message again.

_So much despair . . . how can you bear it? You have suffered so much sorrowful loss . . . . You are broken._

He looked back out the ocean, the least bit surprised. "Yes," he replied in a far-away voice.

_But you _––– _I have never before encountered this amount of sadness. Never before have I encountered emotion at all._ She looked down at him. _You are the first._

He gazed into the mist, the silent barrier of the sky and water. Each tiny droplet of mist was its own individual being, yet it came together with others to form a beautiful yet deadly creation.

His mind searched. For what, he didn't know, but it was searching. For something, somewhere. His thoughts skimmed over long ago memories, long lost feelings, everything that was quietly stored away.

Memories that he reviewed suddenly threatened to overpower him. He tried to resist, but it was a lost cause.

_-Flashback-_

_The Titans were deep in battle. Countless attacks were being thrown at them, and each were just barely being dodged. Each of the five could tell that the villain was grinning devilishly behind his mask._

_It seemed that Red X had become more cruel and cold, as if he had suddenly discovered a reason to hate the Titans even more._

"_Come on, kid, is that all you got?" he taunted towards the Boy Wonder._

"_Don't you think you could do better than that?" he mocked as he easily stepped out of the way of the half-robot's sonic cannon._

"_You are _pathetic_" he ridiculed towards the shape-shifter. The green boy's eyes narrowed._

"_You're gonna pay!"_

_-End Flashback-_

He couldn't control his memories anymore. They came flooding into his mind.

_-Flashback-_

"_You're the one who's going to pay!" the criminal yelled uncharacteristically. He narrowed his eyes and pulled out several weapons. None of the four other Titans could stop the changeling or the villain as they charged furiously at each other._

_-End Flashback-_

He heard a faint voice far away. _You are remembering._ He clutched his head in pain.

_- Flashback-_

_The two began to attack. The shape-shifter attempted to scar the villain with his razor-sharp teeth as a fierce lion, but the criminal hit him with a Zinothium powered electrical shock before the teeth reached him._

_The changeling morphed back into his human form, just as the villain began to charge for another attack. The green boy saw this out of the corner of his eye and immediately transformed into a rhinoceros, then rammed the criminal with his powerful horn._

_The villain was thrown back, and the changeling thought he wasn't going to get up. He returned to his normal form. Suddenly, the criminal jumped up with a kick that hit the green boy right in the stomach._

_With the wind knocked out of him, the shape-shifter staggered backwards. Then, without warning, the villain suddenly backslapped the changeling right across the face._

_He laughed menacingly._

_-End Flashback-_

His eyes shut tightly, his knees pulled to his chin, and his hands pulling fiercely at his hair, hot tears began streaming down his cheeks. He buried his face in his knees for a long time.

When he looked up, the stranger was still looking at him. _We will fix you. Together._

**So? What do you think? Like the new character? Yes? No? Please review!**


	4. A Rememberance of the Past

**Oh my gosh! I know I haven't updated for like . . . how long has it been now? Oh no, I've lost track! Ahhhhh! The world is coming to an end! Oh, well.**

**Anyway, I'm so sorry for my . . . ahem . . . _busy-ness_ . . . cough, laziness, cough . . . but I'm back now and that's all that matters, right? Right? Aw, come on, you have to give me some credit! I know it's been a while . . . but still! You people aren't going to kill me are you?**

**All right, now I'm starting to feel pretty guilty. Evilness! So, I have resolved to post THREE MORE CHAPTERS to make up for my absence! MUAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Ahem --- cough, cough . . . . all righty then!**

**Okay, actually _about_ the story, yeah . . . it's starting to take a weird, random history lesson of Beast Boy sort of turn . . . hopefully it won't last for too long . . . **

**On with the show!

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He stared blankly at her with a tear-streaked face. His gaze met hers and her could see how deep her eyes were, swirling with lavender, amethyst, and violet into depths of purple oceans.

He knew she would see emptiness in his eyes.

"I can't be fixed. My heart has been shattered into a million pieces and buried within the ruins of my life. I'm beyond repair," he stated coldly.

When his eyes returned to her, she was looking away again, this time at the dead building behind them. She seemed to be deep in thought.

_Then you must tell me what happened._

Inside of the building, they sat around the counter in the front room. Coffee was brewing quietly.

The room clearly had not been cleaned for quite some time. Dust gathered in corners, dirt sprang up from the carpet. The couch had holes in it and it was worn out. The counter had missing parts as the stools had missing legs. The refrigerator was not functional, but the electricity remained.

He handed the girl a mug of steaming coffee. She merely stared at it. _Please tell me . . . _

"Well . . ." he began. He paused, searching for the words. "I–––" he began once more. He sighed. "You have to understand my life first. What I've been through," he explained. She waited patiently. Those eyes were so intense . . . .

"It started when I was little . . ." Her expression never changed. "I lived with my parents from the day I was born until . . . well, it happened," he continued slowly.

She looked off into the distance until she finally said, _I do not understand. What are these 'parents'?_

He stared at her incredulously. How could she possibly not know? Didn't everyone have parents? Apparently not, he supposed. "Parents ––– parents are your mother and father. The ones who give you life and love. They care for you until ––– until the day they die." He said this last part quietly.

She looked as solemn as always. _I see._

"Well, my parents were the best that could ever be. They were loving and caring like nobody else. They ––– they were the people who brought me to this earth and carried me through my childhood.

"My mother ––– she was the best cook I'll ever know. She made her food with love. She had infinite amounts of love, too, and she knew just how to show it. One day I went out into the woods by myself and got lost. I was in there for hours until I heard my name being called and footsteps behind me. When I looked to see what it was, there was Mom tearing through the brush, dirt on her face, hair all frazzled, and cuts on her legs, running to me. When she got there, she nearly suffocated me in a hug. And she just kept on saying how much she loved me and how very worried she'd been.

"And my father ––– the strong, sensitive man that I loved so dearly. We used to do so many things together ––– he taught me how to fish until I realized how wrong it was. And when I told him what I thought of innocent beings being lured into a hook that pierces them and eventually kills them, he stopped fishing immediately. It was amazing that he respected my opinion that much that he would quit his favorite hobby. Then whenever we visited the pond, we would skip rocks, which was just as fun. He always seemed so tough and everything, I didn't think there was a single tear in him ––– until that fateful day when I wandered down to the pond and ended up almost drowning. I blacked out and when I woke up, there was Dad looking over me, holding my hand, suddenly crying in joy. He hugged me tightly for a long time and was crying out, 'You're okay! It's a miracle! I love you so much . . .'"

He was reminiscing about those beautiful, happy times. He almost had a ghost of a smile on his face, until he looked around at the destroyed room he was in, at the harsh reality that surrounded him. He suddenly turned cold again. "And then they were gone," he said despairingly.

She looked at him carefully. _What happened?_ she asked.

He looked at her, then away.

"They were murdered."

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**Short, yes I know . . . DON"T KILL ME! No worries, I'm going to post two more chapters today, so BE PATIENT!**

**(sweatdrop) Please review!**

**And yes, I do have random conversations with myself. DEAL WITH IT.**


	5. Painful Past

**See? I told you I was going to post another chapter! Don't act like you didn't believe me! Gosh!**

**Moving on, time for another chapter! Yay! Come on, readers, cheer! Cheer! I SAID CHEER!**

**Good. Now, please proceed to reading and subsequently anylazing my story, and consequently providing astonishingly good reviews that I will forever treasure.**

**NOW!

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_They were murdered._ she repeated. _By whom?_

His fists suddenly tightened. "I don't know! Don't you think if I knew that they would be dead by now!" he yelled angrily in her face, his chest heaving. She did not flinch.

Realizing what he had done, he suddenly backed down into his seat, his hands unclenching and his expression softening. Now he just looked depressed and hopeless again.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell," he apologized. "It's just . . . it's just that this has been haunting me for years." He paused. "And after it happened, everything else went wrong too."

_Where were you when your parents were killed?_ she asked.

He looked at the counter as he spoke. "We were all at the pond. It was winter, so we brought our ice-skates. I was only six, so I wasn't very good, but my parents helped me. We must have been out there for a while because I was getting better. I could stand and glide a few feet without my parents' help. I got out so I was probably fifteen feet away from them. I stopped to face them for a second to smile proudly after I went about five feet without falling. They were smiling at first, and then they had a sort of stricken look on their faces.

"I was kind of confused, and then they started screaming my name, telling me to get away, to come back to them. And suddenly, there was a huge bang on my head, and I was knocked to the ice. I kept going in and out of consciousness, and everything was blurred. I could hear it though.

"My mother screamed a terrible, agonizing cry. I had never heard any kind of sound like that ever in my life before. I also heard this sickening slashing sound. You can probably guess what happened.

"Right before I blacked out, all I remember was these horrible yellow eyes and a hideous scar in the shape of an x.

"When I woke up, I was still on the ice, but my parents weren't there anymore. I was afraid and confused; I had hoped that it was just a dream, that none of it had ever happened. It was strange because it was dark outside, and I had remembered it being light before.

"I stumbled over to where my parents had stood before, but they were gone. When I got a full view of that spot, I realized there was a large gap in the ice as if it had broke. I leaned over to look in the water. Instead of it being its normal dark blue, it was a terrible crimson red. I gasped and staggered back; it was a red as ––– well, blood.

"I got really scared, so I ripped off my skates and started tearing back to our house. I ripped through branches and snow, convinced that my parents would be waiting back in the living room with a warm, cozy fire and hot chocolate. But when I got there, I discovered something worse.

"I stood in front of the smoldering ruins of my only hope. I dropped to my knees before the smoking debris I used to call home. The house had been set on fire, and now the blazes had died down to only ashes and smoke.

"I kneeled there in the cold snow for a long time. I didn't care about the flaming hot cinders occasionally flying up and burning me. I didn't care about the painful ashes that surrounded me and I breathed. I didn't care about the smoke that encased my small lungs. All I cared about was my family. My parents. And they were gone.

"Even at six I knew that. They weren't back at the pond or the house. They were gone. Forever."

_I see._ she responded. _You were sad?_

"Unbelievably depressed is more like it," he laughed bitterly. He grew serious. "I had never felt that kind of pain before. I had always been protected and loved by my parents, and since they were suddenly wiped from my life, I figured I was nothing. Hopeless. Useless. _Pathetic._"

_You believed that you were beyond repair, yes?_ she inquired solemnly.

He glanced at her, the irony bizarre. "Yes," he answered.

_I do not agree._ she responded. He stared at her. What was she talking about?

"What are you saying?" he asked harshly.

_You can be repaired. Just wait and see._

_

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**Me likey reviews! Me wanty some! DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO PEOPLE WHO DON'T GIVE ME WHATI WANT!**

**Therefore, I advise you to REVIEW!**


	6. Only Six

**All right! Here is the last chapter that I'm going to post for today! YES!**

**I mean --- uh --- oh no --- uh --- last chapter for today --- gasp.**

**You know, updating is starting to get exhausting. I'm not much of a typer myself . . .well, enjoy the chapter (it's longer!).

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"Please, you don't want to get involved in this. It's much too ––– complicated," he tried.

She didn't respond for what seemed like forever. Finally, she replied, _I will try._

Taken aback by her persistence, he couldn't refuse her. "Fine," he said impassively.

_Continue,_ she said. _Continue your story._

He took a deep breath and began. "Well, afterwards, I didn't know what to do. I was lost ––– lost in a cruel world, alone at six. My birthday was coming up in a few weeks, and I knew there would be no presents. No cake. No parents . . . no love. And when I realized that ––– I realized also that I would be alone for Christmas, then New Years, then dad's birthday! Alone . . . alone . . . alone . . . forever.

"I knew my parents weren't coming back. And that scared me beyond imagination. I was nothing without them. I ––– I didn't know what to do or where to go. I was so afraid . . .

"As I was kneeling in front of my destroyed house, my knees gradually becoming frozen to the ground, I remembered one time about a year or two ago. My parents had taken me to the city.

"It had been the first time I'd ever seen other people; our cabin-style house was secluded in the deep woods with no one around. In the city, everyone was so busy and bustling around. I mean, it was bursting with life! It was amazing just to be there, like watching a story unfold.

"My curious mind wandered through the streets, wondering exactly what exactly people were doing, why they were here, and where they were going. It was incredible . . .

"So as I knelt in front of those smoking ashes, isolated within the pressing woods, I realized that there were other people in the world. Somewhere, I wouldn't be alone. The memory of the one time I was presented with a thriving location gave me hope. Not much . . . but it was still hope."

He glanced over at the girl, and he could tell she was processing all of this. _Go on,_ she offered.

"Well, I didn't know where the city was, but I knew I had to go there if I ever wanted someone to care for me. I never even thought about _surviving_. I mean, there was no food or shelter around, and snow surrounded me, yet the thought never crossed my mind.

"So I resolved to set off. As I got up–––or tried to–––I discovered that my knees had a slight casing of ice around them. How long I'd been sitting there is still a mystery to me, but I eventually cracked through the ice and broke free."

She stopped him momentarily. _You did not know where you were going._

He looked at her. "No."

_You were unprotected._

"Yes."

_You were only six._

"Yes."

She paused for a second and finally said, _I see._

Since her questioning was finished, he continued to remember.

"I began in a random direction because I obviously didn't know which way to follow. Being a child, I underestimated how dangerous my journey would be.

"It was night, and I only had the moonlight and twinkling stars to guide me. The trees were dense and thick, and it was difficult to determine if I had gone a certain direction or not. At first I was okay with it, and then it became frightening.

"It was as if my imagination forced me to believe that things were surrounding me ––– dangerous things that were following. At every small noise, my heart leaped and I quickened my pace, certain that something scary would jump out and get me. It got so bad that I began racing through the trees, dodging rocks and leaping over logs. I was terrified ––– alone in the woods at night, unprotected from danger. Alone, and only six.

"I was going out of my mind with terror. What if a bear attacked me? What if a monster slithered under my feet and dragged me away? What if I went away like my mother and father?" He paused for a second and sighed. "I was just ––– lost, I suppose."

_And you were only six._ she stated.

He looked up and nodded slightly. "Only six."

He took a sip of coffee and continued. "I finally came to a clearing where the moonlight was bright and I felt content. That is ––– until a stick cracked behind me. I tensed and slowly turned around, horrified at what I might see

"So as I grudgingly rotated my body in the direction of the disturbance, my eyes met with the bright yellow irises of a white wolf. I staggered back in fear, but I was frozen in utter terror. The wolf snarled and bared its teeth. The hairs on my neck still stand up at the thought.

"It looked blood thirsty the way those eyes bore into me, the small droplet of drool dripping from its fangs. It was taking so long, I thought for one beautiful second that it would just leave me alone. I was proven wrong when it suddenly lunged at me, teeth shining and eyes glistening. I cowered in fear and looked away before it reached me.

"And then suddenly I felt fangs sinking into my side, into my flesh. My own blood spilled onto the ground, tinting the sparkling snow a violent red. Transforming something so pure into something so hideous ––– it was horrifying.

"Again the fangs came, into my shoulder, piecing my skin and intruding into my body. I was thrown to the ground. Flesh being torn and blood streaming . . . the last thing I remember was looking at the gleaming snow and thinking how perfectly beautiful it was in the moonlight. Then the crimson red came into view, dying it into something evil and terrible. And then I blacked out."

_The wolf _––– _it was a signal, wasn't it?_ she asked somberly.

"What? A signal?" he repeated.

_Yes._ she answered. _It was a signal of death._

"What do you mean? I'm still alive."

_Something must have saved you. The white wolf is a sign of devastation and death. You were rescued somehow from its power._

He looked skeptical. A _signal?_ He was not superstitious at all, and her logic was definitely driven by superstition.

_It is not superstition._ she confirmed, seemingly reading his thoughts. _It is a fact of the spirits. They use several objects as symbols of different meanings._

"How do you know all of this?" he asked in disbelief.

_It is the only thing I know of._ she stated simply, looking out the cracked window.

He looked at her for a moment, puzzled at her utter mystery. _How . . . ?_ He could barely connect thoughts anymore.

_Go on._ she said.

He snapped out of the trance-like state. "Huh? Oh, right.

"I don't know how long I was unconscious. It could have been between a few hours or an entire day. All I know is it was still night when I awoke.

"It was strange because when my eyes first fluttered open, I had forgotten what I was doing, where I was and what was going on. For one blissful moment, I was confused and didn't remember.

"And then it hit me. Reality slammed into me like a pick-up truck. My parents were dead. And I was alone."

_Alone and only six._

"Only six . . ."

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**No comment . . . must sleep . . . **


	7. Denial

**Sorry, guys (again), but I've been busy (again). But, I am updating, which is a good thing!**

**Alright, I know, I know, this is** **a SUPER short chapter, so I'm making up for it in the next chapter, which is as long as they're going to get. Sorry! I'm not talented enough to write long chapters! DON'T KILL ME!**

**I felt that there needed to be a break between this hrdcore history lesson of Beast Boy, so I inserted this chapter. It may seem kind of pointless to many people, but really it reveals Beast Boy's distrust in basically everybody, yet his softness still haunts him.**

**Enjoy!

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**

"I was shocked ––– stunned ––– scared. My parents ––– they were dead. It felt so final thinking of it that way."

_It was a large impact on your life._ she inferred.

"Enormous. The vastness of this loss was unbelievable. You have to comprehend my mindset at an early age. Everything was like ––– a chain of events. Yeah, that's it. And soon, the following years would come out the same way."

_What happened?_ she asked.

He sighed deeply and pondered on the conversation they'd been having. "I ––– I don't know about this anymore. Maybe we shouldn't talk," he said uncertainly.

_But you must._ she said. _You must continue._

"What's the point?" he asked carelessly. He had suddenly realized what he was doing. He was telling a complete stranger his hopeless life story. Why would she care anyway? Why would anybody care?

_Please._ she suddenly begged. He was surprised at this.

"Why? I don't understand why you're even here. Why are you so persistent at knowing my past?" he inquired harshly and coldly. His anger began building up. "Why are you prying into my life? Why did you even come here in the first place? Why don't you just_ leave me ALONE?_"

He stared at her, impatiently waiting for an answer. She was staring down at the counter, as if hurt, yet no emotion played across her face.

_Because._ she stated abruptly. _Because you are alone and broken. I cannot leave. You need to be mended._

He stared at her incredulously. That was the most absurd excuse he had ever heard in his life. What was wrong with this girl? Was she mentally insane or what?

_Continue._ she prodded. _Please._

He continued to stare. How could she _still_ be urging him for more? She had to be crazy.

She suddenly interrupted his thoughts. _You have been eluded for so long, you can no longer accept care as it is. You deny the fact that somebody does care and that your life is not worthless._

He blinked at this, surprised. "I ––– uh . . ." he stuttered.

_Go on._ she said simply. _Go on with your story._

He was still stunned. She really wasn't going to give up was she? He surrendered. "Okay, here it goes . . ."

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**Ready for the next one? Here we go!**


	8. Intertwining Fate

**Finally a longer chappy (even though it isn't that long)! I didn't really know how to begin this one, so I just started with . . . well, you guys can read it.And I didn't know what to name the chapter, so I made something up.Um . . . yeah . . . I don't really know what else to say . . . I'm supposed to be doing my English homework, but I'm not doing a very good job concentrating . . . **

**Yeah . . . **

**Alright, just read the chapter already!

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**

_**And so the tale continues . . . **_

"After several days of treacherous walking, I eventually stumbled across the city. I had been feeding on anything I could find ––– frozen berries, brittle bark, anything subside my ravenous hunger. Thankfully, it was winter and not the dry summer because I ate the snow to ease my dehydration. I was lucky enough to be able to wrap some cloth from my pants around my wounds inflicted by the wolf, just like I'd seen my mother do. I was also very fortunate that I wasn't attacked again.

"Anyway, when I finally reached the city, I was stunned at what I found. People were everywhere and busy, too, but . . . it was different.

"Before, the people seemed so interesting, exciting, and caring. Now, the harsh reality encased me once more. As I wandered through the streets a second time, people bumped me, and shoved me, and didn't care. Not one apologized. I don't think one even noticed I even existed. I had expected to be welcomed with open arms . . . but instead I was pushed away. Because nobody cares about a stupid green boy with no place to go.

"In the allies I found homeless people ––– people like me. They were gruff and cruel and . . . sad. They had all lived and lost. They had all experienced and died."

_I do not understand. Were these people not alive?_

"They were living physically ––– barely ––– but their souls no longer breathed. Their hearts no longer beat. They were dead ––– on the inside," he explained solemnly. He was looking up at the ceiling.

"I began to form into them. I awkwardly fit in ––– yet I did not. I was separate. Together yet so utterly alone . . .

"There was nowhere left to go. There was no more hope left to thrive on. I had lost everything that I had, and I was still a young child.

"So I stayed. I really had no choice. The streets became my home, and my memories was the closest I could get to love. Over time, my clothes grew ragged and bruises became regular. I–––"

_Bruises? What from?_ she suddenly interrupted.

He laughed bitterly. "From getting caught stealing, of course. I was never very good at that . . ."

_Why did you steal?_ she inquired immediately.

"I was homeless. I didn't have parents. I didn't have money. That was basically my only choice," he replied flatly.

She appeared thoughtful for a moment. _Oh._

"Anyway, I lived my life in sorrow, drowning in it. I was in so deep, it was like I was gasping for air, looking for any chance of relief." He shook his head regretfully. "I lived that way for over a year, struggling for my physical and emotional health."

_It was difficult, was it not?_

"Yes," he responded. "It was. I did have one ghostly fragment of relief, though."

_What do you mean?_ she inquired.

"Well, I was alone and isolated for a couple months. Then, out of nowhere, a bony dog appeared at my side one day. He didn't leave, either, even though I had no food or shelter to offer."

_Strange . . ._

"What do you mean?"

_You gained your first companion . . . _

"Yeah . . . so?"

_It was a dog, was it not?_

"Yes, it was dog. So what?"

_The dog is related to the wolf. The wolf attacked you . . . and the dog befriended you. This is most perplexing . . . _

"What are you talking about?" he asked, starting to get annoyed.

_Well, this is not supposed to happen . . . the spirits were acting bizarre . . ._

"You're not answering my question!"

_You see, the white wolf is a sign of destruction and death, yet you lived through its tragic power. Then, the dog should have been equally as cruel and unforgiving, yet it became a companion of yours. This is most puzzling. Why do these signals not prevail for their purpose? How are you overcoming their power? The dog must have left some painful mark on you, though. Surely it left some form of scar on you . . . _

He processed the information she just gave him. "The dog did leave a mark," he remembered. "Not visibly, but he scarred my heart."

It was her turn to be confused. _What do you mean?_ she asked.

"We became the best of friends ––– each other was all we had. It seems strange that there can be such a strong bond between an animal and a human, but that's what happened. He went wherever I did. He helped me when I needed it. He kept me company when I was feeling lonely. He was always there for me, just as I was for him. I finally had someone to love me again.

"And then, it was ruined. Again."

She waited patiently for him to continue. He shook his head.

"He left."

_What? He _––– _abandoned you? After all you had been through together? Why?_

"I don't know. I woke up one day and he was just gone. He would be gone in the morning sometimes, but he'd always come trotting back after I woke up."

_So what happened?_

"He didn't come back."

They sat in silence for a moment, the girl absorbing what had been said. _I see. After the dog left, what became of you?_ she inquired thoughtfully.

"I moved on. There was no use for me once more. A useless waste of space . . ."

_That is not true._

He glanced up at her skeptically. "Yeah right. How would you know?"

She paused for a moment. _No being is ever useless. Existence always has a purpose. The reason of existence of a certain being is always decided upon not by themselves, so their purpose may be unclear to them. However, no being is purposeless, no matter if some believe in their alleged uselessness so strongly._

He glanced off, still unconvinced. Of course he was useless. There was no way she could know if he had a purpose or not. She didn't know him.

"Anyway, so I moved on and went back to stealing."

_Yes._

"Okay, it was a dark night, and I had broken into a bakery market. There were no lights, but I had become skilled in seeing the dark. I had just turned eight, and I was already a talented criminal.

"I was gathering some food when I heard the front doors to the market burst open. I had no time to react when I was punched in the stomach and thrown against the wall. I knew I'd been caught and prepared to be beaten. I forced my face to become indifferent and uncaring as the blows rained upon me. I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of my pain.

"Suddenly, the lights turned on, and I faced my captor. Out of nowhere, a woman said, 'Wait, Mento. He's just a child.' I looked around to see the one who'd been punishing me ––– a large man with a stern face. Mento. I saw the woman, too, who was peering at me with a strange expression, as if surprised by me. There was also a huge metal man near them, who was very intimidating, along with another man who was wrapped in many bandages by the light switch.

"The woman suddenly began to slowly approach me. I started to back away, but I hit the wall. I slid down to the floor and pulled my knees fearfully watching the woman come closer and closer. She removed her hand from her side, and began to reach it towards me. I thought she was going to slap me, but instead, she reached her hand towards mine and gently helped me off the ground. I looked at her, surprised.

"'Shh, shh, it's okay,' the woman crooned when I began to whimper in fear of her. I didn't understand ––– no one wanted me. No one cared. Why was this stranger showing such warmth?" His eyes darted to the girl, then back, the paradox strange.

"Anyway, she kindly asked me why a child like me was stealing, though I refused to answer her. 'A silent one, huh?' she chuckled playfully. I hadn't heard laughter for so long, I instantly hugged her, so happy to have someone to hold me again. She laughed again and hugged me back.

"I could tell that Mento was becoming impatient. 'Let's go,' he said forcefully to the woman. I was astonished that she didn't move, still holding me in her arms.

"'We can't just leave him, Steve,' she responded. I assumed at first that she was talking to one of the other two, but the reply was directed at Mento. Being a naïve child, I was puzzled. I didn't realize that 'Mento' was merely an identity cover for a prestigious crime-fighter."

_Crime-fighters? Is that what they were?_

"The best at the time," he nodded.

_I see. Did these heroes have a collective title?_

"Yeah," he said. "The Doom Patrol."

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	9. The Truth Hurts

**Alright, I'm sorry (for the trillionth time) that I haven't updated for a while. I really shouldn't even be updating now because I have to do all of my homework to do for tomorrow because I have aScholastic Bowl meet tomorrow that is going to take forever! So, I have to make this quick.**

**I apologize for the shortness of the chapter, but I hope to get the next one up soon (even though we all know that isn't going to happen). Oh well.**

**Oh, and by the way, this is really disappointing. I'm recieving less and less reviews. Is it really that bad that I'm losing everyone's interest? Well, I'll continue because I enjoy writing, but this is starting to get a little discouraging . . . I guess I'll just be all by my lonesome for the rest of my life . . . **

**Well, here's the chapter. Enjoy (if anyone even reads it).

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**

_The Doom Patrol. An interesting name._

He stared at his feet and examined the dust collected on the floor. He didn't feel like talking about it.

_Aren't you going to continue?_

"Um, yeah . . . I guess," he surrendered. "I . . . uh . . ."

_What is the matter?_

"Um, nothing," he lied and forced himself to proceed. "Alright, that night that they found me, I expected them to leave me. But that woman ––– she insisted that they couldn't. She said that it wouldn't be right. That it wouldn't be fair. I knew by then that nothing was fair, but she persisted to believe in the good nature of the world, which I know, of course, is non-existent.

_Non-existent?_

"Yes. The world is harsh and cruel. No matter how hard you search, you will never find any true good in the world. It is always corrupted or surreal. Unauthentic. Fake."

She looked away, and he knew the violet fire of her eyes were burning with desire to prove him wrong. To convince him that there is good in the world.

But he knew the truth. And 'good' was all a lie.

He thus decided to continue. "She convinced Mento to let her take me with them. I was beyond astonished when he finally agreed.

"They took me in and gave me what I needed. Not just food and water, but something much more."

_What was it?_ she asked.

"Love," he replied quietly. He twiddled his fingers and then sighed.

"Love ––– is so complicated. Pure love is never there, but the care is still present. Love is complex, sometimes suppressed, sometimes open, and sometimes ––– lonely."

_Lonely?_

"Yes," he responded quietly. He didn't elaborate. For a moment, they sat in silence. It wasn't awkward, it was more of an understanding silence, each soaking in the depth of the conversation.

"After my parents died, my search for love began. Sometimes I would grasp it, savoring every moment, then it would slip through my fingers. Every time I lost it, it became harder and harder to recover. Now my heart is empty."

_No,_ she said,_ it isn't._

"What?" he asked, looking at her.

_Emptiness is not within your heart. It is filled to the brim._

"What are you talking about?"

_Your heart _––– _it is full. Full with regretful love and a vengeful hate. Your cover up these feelings with a false sense of emptiness. You think you are a numb void, when you are in reality discreetly emotional. You are not aware of this?_

His brow furrowed, he looked off, thinking about what she had revealed to him. How could this be possible? He still had love within him? Then he shook his head. "No. You're wrong. That's ––– that's just not right. It isn't," he said. "You're wrong," he repeated.

She looked straight ahead. _It is the truth if you wish to believe it or not._

"No," he said again. He stood up from the stool and inadvertently knocked it backwards. The stool clattered to the floor, painfully disrupting the deadly silence encasing the room.

"No, no, no! That's not right! I'm dead on the inside! No life, no activity, no feelings, no NOTHING!" he ranted, pacing about the room. "You're wrong, you're wrong, you're WRONG! It can't be possible!" he continued. He couldn't understand why he was so angry.

_You are angry,_ she said, seemingly reading his thoughts, _because you became convinced that everything you believed was real. Now that you are being told that this is untrue, you have resorted to your only form of output you have left._

He tried to ignore her. He tried to shut her out. But then her words began taking effect and his anger started to dwindle.

"But it can't be," he said, his voice weakening. "It just can't . . ."

His pacing slowed and he progressively walked back to the counter and picked up the fallen stool. He sat down once more, his face twisted with confusing worry. "I–––" he began, but his voice trailed off.

_You have seen it, haven't you? You have seen the truth?_ He nodded, and she seemed satisfied.

"I didn't think–––" he started. "I just didn't think that a _monster_ like me could ever–––" He broke off once more and began to cry quietly into his arms resting on the counter.

_The truth is powerful,_ she commented. _It can be painful._

He then lifted his head, his eyes red from his tears. "You have no idea."

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**So, review if your reading this. I will seriously appreciate it. Thanks.**


	10. Nonexistent Heartbeat

**Hey guys, what's up? Um, sorry about the, like, _month_ wait between updates, but I have had a lot of . . . _stuff_ going on. But I'm here now, and I made this chapter longer than usual as a special treat! I know, it's not really that long, but it's longer than any of my previous chapters, so there you go!**

**And don't forget to review! I hope you people haven't forgotten about me . . . **

**Read!

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**

Their eyes locked for a long time. Finally, he broke the gaze and, once more, stared at the counter.

"Truth," he said, as if tasting out the word. "Truth was barely ever known to me. It's like a distant memory, far back in the confines of my mind and soul. The lies and betrayal within my life has made me untrusting to the truth. I can see it, though, but I don't believe it."

She sat, awaiting patiently. Her inhuman stillness made him think sometimes that she was a statue of pure ivory, but when he gazed into the depths of her eyes, it made him think that they were stirring with a life of their own. Swirling violets, amethysts, and lavenders ––– they were alive with fiery beauty.

He noticed absently that she never blinked. This strange and mystifying aspect only added to her mystery.

"I have been deceived many times," he explained, continuing to proceed. "The deception still lingers throughout my memories and haunts me in my fitful sleep. I can't escape it."

She sat, even then, impossibly still. Her back was straight and her hands folded in her lap. She looked frozen in that position, never to move again. She suddenly began to turn her head slowly in almost a mechanical motion. _Continue,_ she pressed.

He blinked in surprise, like a statue had just come to life. She resumed her normal stance, and he proceeded. "The Doom Patrol was a group of four heroes, and–––"

_Five,_ she said.

"Huh?"

_There were five._ Her head turned to him once more and looked into his hollow eyes. He suddenly understood what she meant. He was the fifth.

He looked down. "I was no hero," he hissed forcefully, angrily. It wasn't anger at her, but instead, himself. He glared at the counter as if it was the cause of all his troubles. His teeth were gritted and his fists were tightened. He was nearly trembling in fury.

_Why?_ she asked innocently.

Immediately, his expression changed. His hands went limp, and his teeth no longer grinded against one another. His eyes beheld not anger ––– but confused misery. "I–––" he stuttered unintelligently, as if he had never before contemplated the reason. Then he grew firm again. "You wouldn't understand," he replied carelessly.

She allowed him to drop the topic, but she refused to let him stop telling his story. _Go on with your story._

He looked at her and sighed. How long was this going to go on for? Still, he didn't have much of a choice. "Memories of the Doom Patrol are –– distantly happy. I even started to –– _like_ it. Love had been lost years before, but then it took on a new form. They couldn't replace my family, but . . . there seemed to be a special place for them in my life, you know? I didn't understand it at first, but then it grew on me."

His eyes wandered around the room slowly, as if deep in memory. It almost seemed like he was watching a movie of memories play before him, that only he could view. His fingers tapped lightly on the counter, an old habit that hadn't resurfaced for a long time.

"But –– but I couldn't hang on to them," he whispered, eyes continuing to gaze far off. Tears gathered in the corners of his eyes. He tried to blink them away, refusing to let them spill forth. "But I always knew it. I knew it all along. They wouldn't be there forever."

The tapping of his fingers became rapid and stressful. "They –– they became my family," he choked. "They were all I had . . . the only ones to love me." Tears once more threatened to brim from his eyes onto his cheeks. "I lost them," he whispered. "And it's all my fault."

She gazed over at him solemnly, watching the pain gnaw at him. Vicious wolves tearing at his heart . . .

She observed carefully and intently, analyzing the anguish that overwhelmed him. It was curious to see such devastation take over a human soul. Why did they express such emotions? Her comprehension was fuzzy, yet she understood perfectly.

Human life is affected much by emotion, and can be extinguished in an instant. Whether it be a knife or a broken heart, one's soul could be pierced and disappear. Feelings of one's mind and heart intertwined and battled over another, twisting in an eternal dance of balance. Human life was ultimately governed by one's heart –– the source of all feeling.

What she didn't understand were the emotions themselves. What is happy?

He breathed deep and slow, attempting to regain control. He hated doing this. He hated remembering. He hated reliving the pain that already haunted him everyday of his pitiful existence. Exhaling, he started up again.

"Mento was the leader. He was perfectly fit for the job, too, very commanding and such. I think he forgot what was really important, though."

Participating, she asked, _What?_

"I think that he became so focused and concerned about the crimes and everything, that he forgot to, you know ––– care. Reminds me of someone else I used to know . . ."

Though her facial expression did not change, her eyes gave him a questioning look. He responded accordingly, though avoiding mentioning the painful memories of his somewhat more recent past. "When Mento got into a mission, it was as if the lives of his teammates weren't important anymore. That . . . his own life ––– just wasn't important." He looked down sadly. "But he was almost–––just almost–––like a second father to me. Even though he looked like a strict, unforgiving man, I almost believed that he was as loving as you or . . . me . . ." This last part drifted off slowly in delayed realization. He shook it off.

"Anyway, he was a great leader nevertheless. We always got the job done, one way or another.

"Then there was Sharon, known commonly as Elasti-girl. She was amazing ––– she was the woman who saved me, remember? Yeah, that was her. I ––– I had a strange relationship with her. She was just like a mother, and a sister, and most importantly, like a friend." She continued to watch him, waiting for indication of emotion. He sat there, looking away, distant from himself and the universe. She observed his chest move slowly up and down . . . up . . . down . . . up . . . down . . . . This was such a normal motion for humans that it passed as unnoticed. But she, the girl with the extensive, iridescent white hair and brilliant purple eyes, was fascinated and, though she would never commit to admittance, envious. To be human . . . to have . . . to have a soul . . . .

She listened. She listened hard. But no matter how much she strained, she could not hear her heartbeat. His was distant and weak, but it still existed. She felt nothing.

_Why?_ she whispered silently. Though she didn't intend it to, the word brushed softly against his mind. Brought out of his trance, he looked over at her, a confused expression on his face, with a twinge of worry.

"Huh?" he asked quietly, as if disturbing something.

_Nothing,_ she lied. _It was nothing. Please continue._

His eyes lingered on her for several more seconds as if sensing her lie, but then he turned back, pupils now fixed on the blank wall ahead of him.

"Sharon was the closest I had in the team. The others were nice enough, but she had that motherly affection, friendly smile, and comforting voice, you know? Just being around her made me feel . . . better, I suppose.

"She was a good fighter too. Strong and determined to never give up. I think her optimism may have rubbed off on me a little, even if it didn't last long. I felt ––– hopeful around her. And maybe, just maybe, for a few minutes of my new life, I was happy."

He let out a small laugh, however bitter it was. "I wish I remembered what that felt like." He ran his fingers through his hair, and to untrained eyes, it might seem like he was merely brushing his shaggy green hair out of his equally green eyes. However, the girl could see it. His fingernails were digging into his scalp, in a distressed and desperate attempt to relieve anger, stress, and confusion.

She suddenly had a sudden surge of brief, but vivid emotion. It was such a strange, unfamiliar sensation; she was startled to say the least. For a second, one fleeting moment, she felt like . . . like . . . like she should _comfort_ him. Pat his back and say it wasn't his fault. Put an arm around him and tell him it was okay. Place her hand over his and murmur soothing words into his ear . . . .

Her eyes widened slightly. He didn't notice, too far gone. Why did she think of such a thing? Why . . . why was she feeling?

Before she knew it, he was looking at her. "What's wrong?" he asked harmlessly.

What he didn't know was that everything was wrong. And getting more wrong by the second.

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**There was lot more revealing of the girl in this chapter, wasn't there? Hmm . . . maybe I shouldn't have revealed that much . . . it might ruin the mysteriousness about her . . . oh well, by the time you read this, it will already be posted. So don't forget to review, people!**

**I said DON'T FORGET.**

**SO DON'T.**


	11. Things Happen

**This is a really boring, kinda confusing chapter, and I really don't feel like fixing it. I'm just trying to get to the next chapter, so her it is. No further comment.

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**

He looked over her carefully, as if trying to locate the strange feeling he sensed from her. She didn't show it in her face, but her eyes told him that she was troubled. "What is it?" he asked again, trying to help.

This was peculiar.

He was trying to comfort someone.

He was _feeling_.

It was his turn to be troubled. He shook his head, attempting to shake off this sensation. It didn't work. He tried to then shake his whole body, struggling to rid himself of this strange sense. He didn't understand; why would he want to comfort this stranger? She seemed content enough, right?

But he knew he was lying to himself. Those eyes . . . they were so . . . penetratingly revealing. His head turned to her, watching her stare into the wall.

Unexpectedly, flashes of the past flew across his eyes. He could see . . . could see . . . no. It wasn't possible. His memories couldn't come back. Not now. Not ever.

But they did.

_-Flashback-_

_The empath was seated on the brightly adorned stool at the shiny, reflective counter. Her pupils were directed straight at the wall, boring holes into it. Her violet irises gleamed in the fluorescent lights built into the ceiling, accenting her features brilliantly._

_From a slight distance stood a green changeling, watching her. It wasn't obsessive, it was a curious observation. Her face remained unchanged, but her eyes told all. Why was she so distressed?_

_"Raven?" the changeling tried tentatively. There was no answer. "Um, Raven? What's wrong?" Abruptly, she stood up from the stool quickly. He jumped slightly, not expecting an immediate response. She strutted over to him, and he thought her delicate hands were balled into fists._

_Coming close, her eyes bore into his. He was confused; why was she so angry? Her face certainly showed it this time; her eyebrows were turned in and she had that look in her captivating eyes . . . ._

_She looked deep into his eyes, as if searching for something. He merely looked back, faintly scared of her anger. Especially since it seemed to be directed at him . . . . He was puzzled; what did he do wrong?_

_Suddenly, it seemed as though she found what she was searching for. She gasped quietly and her anger appeared to vanish. "What is it, Raven?" he asked in a small voice. At that moment, her fists clamped together again and her eyes returned with anger. She took in a breath to say something, but it was as if she couldn't, torn between different emotions. She let out the breath in a frustrated manner and walked out of the room._

_He looked after her, puzzled._

_-End Flashback-_

What _had_ happened that day? Why had she been acting so . . . different? Later, she had been more normal ––– well, normal for her; but she had seemed changed somehow. When he had ever entered the same room as her, she would leave. Even when he had just tried to talk to her to see what was going on with her, she would turn away. The week that it had continued for was painful for him. He hadn't even done anything wrong. That he knew of, at least.

Then, the next week, she had acted like nothing had happened. The one indication she had given him was when she commented with a glance towards him, "Things happen. Some are . . . unexpected." What had she meant?

But why was he even trying to analyze the past? It was useless.

His chest felt heavy, and his heart was in his throat. _Because I care,_ he thought to himself.

His thoughts were scattered and all over the place, and confusion settled upon his brow. Why was he thinking of this now? Why did his thoughts seem to jump from one to the next? Why did he even try to understand?

_Things happen. Some are . . . unexpected._

She hadn't realized how cruel the irony of that was to be.

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**Weird. Random. Slightly insane.**

**Yup. That's me.**

**Deal with it.**


	12. I Hate Life

**Again, this chapter is a little out there, but hey, I like it.**

**I really don't have time to say anything else, and I really just want to update, so here you go.

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"I hate life."

The comment was so abrupt and unexpected, that the girl didn't even respond quickly with her 'words of wisdom'. It was integrated into the silence in the air, yet clashed with it so obscurely that it was painful. He half-expected her to wince, as he sat in utter numbness.

_Life is a gift,_ she finally said, almost harshly. _And hating does nothing._

He shook his head and chuckled sarcastically, becoming nearly cruel in mocking her naïve thoughts. "You really don't get it, do you?" Her head turned and her eyes met with his. The gaze was intense, and if he didn't know any better, he'd consider it a glare. Well, he glared back. "Life is nothing but a waste of my time. It's just a chain a pain and suffering that won't stop until life ends. And you know what? _I'm looking forward to it_."

Her glare intensified and hardened. _You're wrong,_ she said forcefully. _You are hiding again. Don't cover up with redirected anger. You know._

"What are you talking about!" he cried angrily. "I'm not hiding anything! _This_ is my true feelings! _This _is the true me!" His hands curled up on the counter, causing his fingernails to scrape painfully against the hard tile. He took no notice. "You may not like it, but this is truly who I am! Some angry, crazed up loser with a violent side!"

The palms of his hands began to bleed, his fingernails digging in deep. Hot tears began to stream down his face, and uncontrollable emotion oozed from his soul. "You don't understand anything!" he cried. "Why do you keep torturing me! _Why!"_

His voice broke into audible sobs and he trembled violently. He threw his face into his arms and sobbed. At every tear he shed, she could feel pain dripping from his hollow green eyes; at every breath he took and distorted, she could feel agony swelling up within him; at every memory that passed through his mind, she could feel anguish eating away his body and soul.

_What happened that made you this way?_ she asked softly.

He looked up briefly at her. "I already told you."

_There is something more, isn't there? Something bigger._

His lip quivered. He couldn't tell . . . no, he couldn't relive it. Not again. "No," he replied flatly and sternly, leaving no room for argument. She obviously didn't get the message, and argued.

_You're lying. Tell me._

He narrowed his puffy red eyes at her. "Just stop it already," he hissed forcefully. "Just stop."

Her eyes didn't narrow, but he could see fierceness flaring up behind her eyes. She dared to defy. _No._

It was too much. He suddenly stood up and brought up his hand dangerously. His anger unleashed as a crisp smacking sound echoed throughout the tower.

Unmoving, the girl took the violent blow to her delicate face indifferently. Or so it appeared, anyhow. Panting, he stood there angrily, waiting for her to react. Waiting for the satisfaction of violence. Waiting for someone else to feel pain.

But she didn't move, her gaze never wavering from his hollow eyes. Just sitting there, perfectly still, inhuman to all extent.

He dropped his hand, and his angry face dropped as well. He suddenly looked incredibly sad, as if knowing all along that his internal pain was always going to overpower any form of external hurting.

Slowly, he began to back away, as if afraid and shocked at what he had just done. His pace quickened, and he eventually turned around and ran out of the room.

The girl was left alone to sit in the residence of sorrow.

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**Yes? No? Retarded?**

**Review!**


	13. Life Is My Punishment

**I know, I know! I am a bad girl. You would think that over Spring Break I would have written _something_ for this story. Well, you would think wrong. It's the Monday _after_ Spring Break that I decide, 'Hey! Let's randomly start writing chapter 13!'. So, yeah, I'm a dork. Deal with it.**

**I'm sorry that this chapter is really short and rather random. Well, maybe not _random_, but sort of . . . out there, and . . . yeah, basically random.**

**So anyway, I just want to inform you now that he is on the Tower roof because I didn't really make that very clear, and I don't want you get the wrong impression.**

**Okay, time to READ!

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The wind wisped past his ears, his shaggy green hair waving aimlessly. The dreary clouds encased his sorrowful consciousness and draped themselves over his soul. The breeze blew in tiny specks of mist and water the slowly wet his cold cheeks.

Gazing out into the distance, he could see the towering city before him. He would always watch at a distance, but it constantly felt like the pressure in the streets traveled over to his secluded dwelling. Did they ever think about him? Did they ever wonder what happened to the goofy green changeling?

_Of course not,_ he thought to himself. _Why would they care anyway?_

His wistful thoughts were overcome by a dense feeling of loneliness and misery. His shoulders were weighted down by immense devastation, and before he even realized it, absent tears were rolling down his face.

His arms reached up to the sky. As he gazed at his hands against the bright, yet awfully dreadful sky, he first saw innocent fingers of a pure soul. Then flashes of blood clouded his vision and he let a cry escape from his lips.

Sobs emitted from his being and he covered his face with his hands in shame. Stumbling to the edge of the roof he was standing on, he looked down and saw the jagged rocks below. It would be so easy . . .

He was suddenly painfully aware of a presence behind him. Without turning around, he knew it was the mysterious stranger ––– some aura about her distinguished her from others. Almost ashamed, he refused to turn around and acknowledge her.

_You're right,_ she commented abruptly. _It would be easy._

Shocked, he slowly turned his head towards her. She was standing several feet behind him, vividly purple eyes boring into him. She continued, eerily calm.

_For all the pain you went through, one would surely want to end one's own existence. Escaping the pain is all that matters, and death is a simple choice. Strangely, you have endured this pain for such an extended period of time, yet you have taken no action against your life. Why is this so?_

He stared at her, completely taken aback. He was certain she would attack him with her lessons and so on, yet . . . she was telling him that he should end his life?

_Why? Why suffer when your escape route is so cleanly laid out for you? One step . . . one shot . . . one gag . . . and it could all be over. So easily, yet you choose to fall deeper into the pain. Why?_

His fists tightened. He knew why. And he would tell her, even thoughhe knewshe would never understand.

"Because," he said through gritted teeth, "Life is my punishment."

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**Come on.**

**You know you want to review.**

**NOW.**


	14. It Burns

**Hey guys . . . wow, I haven't updated in months . . . sorry about that . . . well, I never got any complaints, so it's not like you guys care anyway. Well, here's a sad excuse for the next chapter, so, here you go if anybody is even reading this . . . **

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Violently shaking, curled in a ball, his fierce sobs pierced the dense air around him and echoed in his broken mind. His forehead was pressed against the floor of the roof, his body wrapped around him. Feeling the cold tears drip down his skin didn't matter to him. It wasn't enough. He wanted to feel blood instead.

_You mustn't ––_

"Shut up!" he screamed. "Just shut up!" He pounded his fists onto the hard tile that lay beneath him. Agony seized him and his cries became even harder and more violent.

_But ––_

"No!" he screamed again. "Leave me alone! Just stop! Just shut up!" He thrashed his body around, trying to escape the pain. "No, no, no!" He thrashed harder, screaming out in anguish. He needed his body to feel the pain that his heart was feeling.

Tormented, his soul had been so twisted under the pressure, he broke. No one could save him now.

Falling . . . the abyss of darkness seemed so close, yet so far from his grasp. Yet he could feel the darkness seeping into his veins, taking over him. It wouldn't be long before he was gone.

At the peak of his suffering, his agony, his torment, he suddenly felt the unmistakable touch of –– light. It was on his arm, and he could feel it spreading throughout his body. It was so pure . . . it burned.

He looked up, surprised at what he found. It was the stranger –– her eyes glowing a pure white, a faint lavender emitting from the edges. Her pale fingers were placed on his arm, glowing a light lavender and white. Her soft touch flowed through his body, and somehow removed his pain, or dulled it at least. He sat up, a calm now brought upon him.

"I –– I –– don't understand. What did you ––"

He was silenced by a soft _whoosh_, like the sound of a passing breeze, though he knew that it was the girl silencing him. The phosphorescence in her eyes faded, and her stunning violet pupils came into focus, returning with their usual intensity. Her purity looked into the eyes of darkness, though she did not break the gaze.

He no longer felt the harsh bite of agony, but felt empty with hopelessness. He had never experienced the feeling of being the shell of his body and nothing more. No hope, no happiness, no joy, no faith. No sadness, no pain, no despair, no sorrow. The emptiness spread through his body and took him over. It was as if all emotion escaped him and he couldn't remember what it felt like.

And then the girl took away her hand, her fingers tapering across his green skin. The emotion came back, stinging him painfully, but it had faded so that he maintained control. He looked into the stranger's eyes, his own eyes red and watery, the tears stained on his cheeks.

"Who are you?" he asked dully, the hollowness in his core edging him to ask. She broke the gaze and looked far away into the distance, blankly into the mist. Her lavender eyes swirled in thought.

"Well, aren't you going to answer?" he demanded, getting angry. "I tell you my life story and you won't even tell me who you are?" She continued to stare off silently. He glared at her. "Oh, well that's just shit. That's bull shit!" he yelled. Without another word, he stood up and stormed off of the roof back into his sanctuary.

And the girl was left alone again with unanswered questions lingering in her mysterious presence.

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**Review . . . **


	15. Reminiscence

**What's up my homies? No, just kidding . . . I'm on a serious high of Evanescence right now . . . but anyway, aren't you people proud of me? I didn't wait three months to post a new chappy! Be proud, I say! Plus, it isn't unbelievably short like the last chapter which, I'm sure let down many of you my faithful reviewers . . . not that I have many . . . but for those of you who are actually nice, thank you very much and please say good things about this chapter because I revealed some more stuff! Yay!**

**Uh, kay, now what comes next again? Oh yeah, read and review!**

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Brilliant rays of white light shone down from the vast expanse of the sky, reflecting off the crystal, glassy waters below. White skin bathed in the luxurious light of the moonbeams, pale hair shimmered in lavender iridescence, and purple eyes glimmered and reflected the beauty of the moon. The light figure looked towards the sky at the bright orb that shined down upon her, never blinking, never moving.

"She used to like the moon, too," a voice said quietly from behind her. She remained motionless, but still listened. "I always thought that she was perfect in the moonlight . . . it suited her so well." This time she turned slowly to look at his expression.

As soon as their eyes met, he let out a small cry and quickly broke the gaze. "It . . . it just hurts too much to be around you. You remind me of her so much," he confessed, his voice cracking in pain. "Oh, god," he breathed, and fell to the ground in anguish, elbows resting on his knees, hands covering his face.

Gradually, she placed herself on the edge of the roof, legs dangling over the edge next to him. Her eyes moved back to the light that sliced through the blackened heavens. _Tell me._

For a moment, he remained silent, his face still buried in his hands. Finally, he slowly looked up, and following suit, also gazed at the moon's radiance. He swung his lean legs over the edge of the roof as well, and took a deep breath.

"There's more to my life than I've told you. So much more . . ."

_Yes, you stopped at the point when you were remained a child and in the care of the Doom Patrol. I was certain there had to be more._

"Yeah, a lot more, unfortunately. I neglected to tell you before that the Doom Patrol utilized my special power –– the ability the transform into different animals. Together we faced the dark side of the world, becoming legends for our heroics. Because I was young and inexperienced, I tended to stay in the background, but the team trained me and made me better than I ever thought a dirty orphan like me could ever be. They even gave me my own name . . . . We were invincible . . . or so we thought we were. Then it all came crashing down . . ." He trailed off, choking on his words.

"But then, when the Doom Patrol was over and I was wandering again, I stumbled upon this city –– Jump City. Young and careless, I hadn't yet removed the mask that the Doom Patrol had given me, mainly because part of me didn't want to let them go. That's when . . . when I met them . . . the Teen Titans." Tears glimmered in his distant emerald eyes, but he blinked them away. The girl turned to look at him, seeing that he was sinking deeper into pain. But he began to speak again, so her gaze returned to the stars.

"The Titans were just about the best people that you could ever meet. I took on the identity of the jokester of the group to conceal my sorrow for my parents and my teammates. But towards the end, the happiness wasn't just a façade –– it was real. They became the best friends I ever had, the closest people of all to my heart.

"Like the Doom Patrol, there were four other members," he explained, his eyes softening in memory. "There was Robin, the tough leader, Boy Wonder as we used to call him sometimes. He was a great leader –– especially when your team is a group of misfit teenagers with weird powers. He always wore that mask –– I never saw his real eyes. His hair was sleek black and always slicked into these hilarious spikes. I don't think he ever knew how ridiculous he looked . . . . Despite his lack of self-awareness, he became a great friend of mine, who could always guide me in the right direction when I was lost.

"Then there was Starfire, the giddy alien with the strangest customs you could imagine. Her English wasn't the best, but we all loved her anyway. She was probably the most optimistic person I've ever known, with that long red hair and those piercing green eyes. Her and Robin were forever flirting, it was ridiculous. She was the light of the Tower, she was the happiness that flowed through our veins, she was what told us to keep going even when things seemed hopeless.

"And of course, nobody could ever forget Cyborg, the half-robot with a great sense of humor and an uncanny love of meat." He let out a half-hearted laugh. "We would argue everyday over tofu and meat . . . we both loved it, though, even though neither of us would admit it. He became my best friend of all –– we withheld few secrets from each other –– the best times in the Tower that I remember were mostly hanging out with them, playing video games with Cyborg, eating vegetarian pizza, laughing . . . it was the best time of my life.

"And the last and most important Titan to me was . . . was . . ." His voice suddenly broke, painful memories stinging at him. He bit his lip and tried again, determined to allow himself to relieve himself just this once. He could let his emotions spill out this one time and finally tell _someone_. "The last Titan was . . . Raven," he struggled. Her name would forever haunt him . . . whenever he dared to whisper it aloud, he felt the bite of pain and the rush of devastating loneliness. He fought back tears and attempted to make his recollection as happy as he could.

"Raven ––" He had to pause to collect himself once more, her name weakening him. "When I first saw her, standing there in the lonely, pale light of the moon, my heart just about stopped. The violet wisps of her shining strands of smooth hair caressed her flawless, pale skin on her beautiful face, her breathtaking amethyst eyes staring back at me. I wasn't worthy to even be graced with her stunning presence. A black leotard clung to her perfectly-proportioned body, and a dark blue cloak draped over her gracefully. She was the definition of beautiful.

"Yes, she was dark. She inverted onto herself and was lost in her vast collection of books. I could always sense the feeling of loneliness in her presence, so I tried my hardest to give her a friend, to make her smile, to see the light in her eyes that I saw only once . . . with Malchoir . . ." He shuddered, then continued solemnly, a ghost of a smile on his face. "I wanted to be the one to make the light return again; I wanted to make her happy just to see a smile on her pale, inviting lips.

"Sometimes," he said with a small laugh, "when it was just the two of us, I would do crazy things just to see how she would react. Once, when I was trying to make her laugh, I tried to recite a goofy poem that I made up on the spot. I still remember it . . . it went like this:

_Birdy, birdy in the sky_

_I watch you as you fly_

_Up high in the blue sky_

_Just don't poop in my eye_

_Because I don't want Raven to see me cry_

"It was stupid, but I could see her holding back laughter, just as her dark powers blew up a nearby lamppost. And then, just because of that small gesture, I didn't want the day to ever end." He shook his head. "She was . . . she was the only one I ever really loved . . ." Unable to resist any longer, cold tears dripped down his cheeks. He couldn't stand saying it out loud; it hurt too much. Daggers of agony pierced his heart as the tears continued to descend down his face. The familiar tears gleamed in the luminosity of the moonlight, shining on his tinted green cheeks.

As if she was not listening at all to his painful reminiscence, the girl asked, _What was the name that the Doom Patrol gave you?_

He looked over at her to find her eyes remaining glued to the light of the moon. Painful memories that his name brought flooded into his troubled mind. Still she deserved to know.

Tears pouring from his distressed forest eyes, he struggled to utter it one last time. "It –– it was Beast Boy."

_What happened to them? Why are they not here anymore?_

He fell backward, allowing himself to drop onto the cold tile that covered the roof, one hand resting face up on his forehead, the other laying limply on the floor beneath him. He couldn't speak of that now . . . not now . . . no, not now . . . he wouldn't . . . he couldn't . . . no . . .

"No," he said aloud, surprised at the cold, cruel tone of his own voice.

_But you were doing so well ––_

"Yeah, well that's about as well as I can do in one night," he stated with finality, cutting her off. As the realization of what he had revealed to a stranger hit him, he grew bitter once more. Not wanting to know what she thought of his pathetic existence, he stood and quickly exited the roof once more.

The girl's bright amethyst eyes never left the radiance of the moon, even as the harsh slam of the door behind her rang out and pierced the silence of the black night around her.

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**So? What'd you think? Longer, eh? Yeah, yeah, I know, not long enough and not enough info for you demanding reviewers, but you must be patient, people! Make that _very _patient, 'cause I take awhile to write and I like to drag it out just for you guys! XD**

**Review!**


	16. Desire and Indifference

**Hola, mi amigos! Hast thee been waiting for me? Indeed, no?**

**Sorry . . . I'm having a little too much fun . . . .**

**I HAVE FINALLY UPDATED, MY BEAUTIFUL READERS!**

**Thus, read.**

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The faint scent of lavender surrounded him, and the dark cerulean covers shielded him from the world. He was encircled by many ancient, dusty books that filled him with memory, and desperation filled his soul. As he stared into blackness, he inhaled what was left of her scent, trying to fulfill his desire for her.

He didn't know how long he had been lying there, tangled up in covers in a bed that was not his own. He often came there when he couldn't resist the pain any longer, where he could be surrounded by things that belonged to her, that still had traces of her entrancing presence. He breathed in, attempting to fill himself with her again, desperate for her, longing for her, yearning for her. "Raven . . . I need you . . . ." he whispered to an empty room.

With no answer, he let out a small cry, and pulled the covers into his face, breathing in deeply. "Please . . . ." he whispered again, his voice muffled. He let tears escape his eyes as his muffled sobs filled the silence.

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Later, he stood by the cracked window in the Main room, leaning up against the wall, his eyes dark. A breeze blew in from outside, causing strands of his long green hair to wave in and out of his face, his arms crossed, not caring.

His sinister green eyes gazed out at the city, at the people that would never accept him. He could feel the cold, cruel nature of the people below, never caring about the innocent, never thinking of anyone but themselves. He hoped that they would all drown in themselves.

The girl was on the other side of the room; he could feel it. He made sure that she wasn't there when he came in, but she just wouldn't leave him alone, would she?

He continued to stare out the window, pretending not to notice her. The brightness of a cold, wintry daylight burned his eyes and made him wish that he hadn't come to the window. He wanted to fall into darkness forever.

She was abruptly next to him, soaking in his appearance. She had seen the sadness, she had seen the anger, but what she saw now was far worse than before. He was dark and sinister, indifference quite obvious. It was as if the pain had eaten away all of his self, and all that was left was his shell, cast into darkness, hardness and cruelty all that was left.

She wanted to reach out to him, to let him feel light once more touch his soul. She wanted to help him, to make him feel better. But she knew that she could not. Only he could fix himself.

He could feel the intensity of her gaze penetrating into him, but he refused to acknowledge her at all. His eyes swept over the cracked glass, and he had the sudden craving to use the broken glass as a tool to make him feel again –– to cut into his green skin and feel _something_. He imagined cutting deeper and deeper, blood pouring from his self-inflicted wounds, and he would finally feel again, until he could feel no more.

The girl never changed her expression, but she mentally winced at his thoughts. She never meant what she had said before about actions against his own life, and she regretted ever mentioning it at all. Was she pushing him too far? Thoughts flooded her mysterious mind that he could never comprehend. They both couldn't escape their thoughts, but neither moved or flinched the slightest bit.

Finally, she said, _You are lucky._

He didn't respond right away, and proceeded to stare at the glass, not wanting to talk, not wanting to reveal anymore of himself to her anymore. Finally, however, he could no longer stand her boring into him, waiting for his response. Bitterly, his voice sliced through the silence. "What are you talking about?"

Satisfied that he finally answered, she gazed out at the city alongside him. _You are lucky to have memories._

He snorted. "These memories are what haunt me. They're what cause me so much pain."

_But you can remember a once happy life. You have memories that will stay with you forever._

He said nothing for a moment. Then, "Fine. But who doesn't?"

She was silent. Her vivid purple eyes reflected the city in her irises, reflecting the darkness that lied within it. Her colorless hair swayed gracefully in the frosty breeze that blew in from the outside. Never blinking, she stood motionless, absently staring out into the abyss of a world that she never knew.

Slowly, he connected thoughts. He looked over to her. "You don't, do you?" he said softly, his expression changing vastly. He watched her lack of reaction, but he hadn't expected one. When she didn't respond, he commented wishfully, "You're the lucky one."

His eyes shaded by his hair, he warped to dark and moody again, and left the girl to drown in silence.

But she suddenly turned and said, _Wait._ He stopped for a moment, but didn't turn around to face her penetrating gaze.

_I . . ._ she began, but couldn't find the words to express what she wanted to. She could feel his growing impatience burning deep within him and searing her thoughts as she attempted to touch his soul. Still, he waited for her to continue. _I am not like you – or any other human. I . . . ._ She stopped mid-sentence. She couldn't bring herself to reveal such things that he could never understand.

He scowled. He unveiled his hidden thoughts and feelings to her and that was all she could come up with? She wasn't worth it.

As she fell into herself, he left behind a lingering trail of darkness as he strode out the door for the countless time in his life.

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**Hmm, I kind of make him walk away a lot, don't I? Ah well, 'tis his way of dealing with his issues, I suppose. And if you so _happen_ to have a problem with that, then DEAL WITH IT, YOU WUSSIES!!!**

**-cough cough- Ahem.**

**Thou must review-eth!!!!!!!!!!**


	17. The Darkened Light

**No comment.

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He inhaled deeply, savoring the burning sensation that stung his nose and the stench that hung around him and clung to his clothes like cobwebs. He breathed out after a prolonged moment, smoke escaping his nostrils and through the corners of his mouth, as if he were a dragon. The cigarette hung limply from his mouth, his teeth rolling it back and forth and sinking into the nicotine-ridden flesh of its body. After its size had dwindled to nearly nothing more than a puff of smoke in the air, he removed the cigarette from his teeth and shoved the lit side into his pale green flesh on his wrist. He then examined with vacant eyes all the scars that tainted his once pure forest skin. He put his arm down and proceeded to examine the blank wall opposite of him.

Light protruded into his safe realm of darkness without warning. He attempted to make the effort to squint against the luminosity that stung his absent eyes, but his face remained motionless, lost in the abyss of nothingness. He made no attempt to remove his gaze that seemed to be fixed on the wall ahead of him, but he knew it was her, always finding him at his weakest. His back seemed glued to wall that he rested against, all the while the floor felt like it was sucking him down, wanting him to crumple into the empty shell he had become.

She merely stood in the narrow hallway, staring at him, into him, through him. She was the misplaced figure in the picture of darkness and depression, her light that emitted from her too brilliant to go unnoticed. As if mentally painting the picture in her complex mind, she soaked in the scene presented before her– his empty stare boring into the wall, him slouched on the floor, his arms hanging limply beside him, four smoked cigarettes scattered alongside him, seven burnt out matches on the floor, fresh marks on his forearms. . . what had gone wrong? She sensed a terribly powerful and intense emotion that seemed to cling to this residence's walls, but she could never quite identify it. She longed to be rid of these inhuman powers and exterior, and breathe as a human would . . . .

Unexpectedly, his lips barely moving, he whispered hoarsely, "What do you want?" He coughed harshly, not even bothering to move his arm to cover his mouth.

At first, she wasn't sure how to answer. Finally, she replied, _Nothing._ Her intense purple eyes swirled.

His eyes still fastened on the wall across from him, he mumbled with great effort, in blunt anger, "Then why –" He was immediately cut off by a violent fit of coughing, unable to restrain himself. He buckled over as uncontrollable spasms of coughing overtook him. After a moment of painful convulsions, blood spewed from his mouth, staining the floor beneath him. At long last, his coughing subsided a bit. He turned his gaze up to the girl, looking through the long stands of his greasy green hair. Blood trickled from his mouth down his chin.

He smiled.

Suddenly, it no longer felt as if her light was slicing through the darkness, but more the darkness closing in upon her light, ravenous to overwhelm it and longing to consume it. She took a slight step backwards, as if searching for support from behind her, but finding none. All there was was the blackness raining down upon her fragile soul, staining her untainted white innocence and purity. She took another step backwards, providing no escape from the pure dark energy that insisted on entering her. Watching this, he felt the desire to laugh bitterly at her flaw, but then, in an instant, she was gone.

He blinked in surprise. His eyes searched the hallway, but she was nowhere to be seen. Struggling greatly, he managed to stand, and began to stagger down the hall, clutching his chest in pain.

Knowing she must have not stayed within the dim shadows of indoors, he slowly made his way to the roof of the Tower. After virtually dragging himself up the stairs that led to the roof, he finally stood on the hard tile that covered the top of his dwelling. A pale figure stood on the opposite end of the roof, gazing silently into the cloudy, winter-day sky. Seeing this, but having nothing else to grasp to lead him over to her, he collapsed painfully onto his knees. A cold liquid soaked into the knees of his pants, forcing him to realize that a layer of snow hid the ground from sight. His gaze traveled from the door over to the girl, but he could detect no footsteps impressed into the snow. How had she gotten over there?

Sensing his presence behind her, she turned and gazed at his weak figure kneeling in the snow, his head bowed and his hair dripping into his eyes. Within a moment, she was next to him. His pitiful eyes looked up to her, and seemed to plead with her. Slowly, taking her time, she reached her delicate hand down to him and placed it on his chest. Her eyes glowing white and a faint lavender, light pulsated from her hand into his body, their souls intertwining for but a second. In that second, she was marred by intense pain and suffering, almost so she couldn't tolerate it, but, in a moment's time, she could feel that he was healed as much as she could provide, and thus removed her hand.

The glow faded from her eyes, and she seemed to stand a fraction of an inch less straight once she stood upright once more. His physical pain now diminished, he stood as well. In a much clearer voice, he asked, "How did you disappear in the hallway? And move across the snow without leaving footprints?"

Her gaze directed past him, she answered, _I am able to perform many different tasks, as it is in my abilities. You have already experienced my healing powers and my skill to sort through one's mind and heart. A third gift I possess is this one._

Demonstrating, she slowly closed her vivid purple eyes for the first time in his experience, and raised her head upwards. Her small pale fingers spread apart, and one foot lifted slightly from the ground as if she were to take off in flight. Then, to his utter surprise, starting at her foot, she slowly began to dissipate into tiny white particles. It was as if she were unraveling herself, evaporating into the crisp air. The process continued until she was gone completely, faded away into the bright whiteness of the clouds. He could barely detect her, as she now existed as a swirling cloud of white mist, nearly invisible to his human eyes. After a moment, he saw her recollecting herself near the edge of the roof. Her molecules reassembled gracefully as he breathed deeply, taking in this performance.

Once she had completely gathered herself, her purple eyes remained hidden by her pale eyelids. At length, she slowly allowed the brightness of the surrounding world to pass through her vision. Her head turned toward him, and her vibrant amethyst locked onto his thin, gaunt figure, assessing his reaction. She found him trudging his way through the layer of snow toward her.

Once he had reached her, he stood quite close to the drop-off of the roof. Looking down at the sharp, snowy rocks below, he asked quietly after several moments of hesitation, "Where did you come from?"

For a split-second, he thought he sensed fear race through the girl's veins. Finally, with a non-existent expression playing across her delicate features, she replied, _Perhaps that would be better left unsaid._

He couldn't resist letting out a bitter half-laugh. "You'd like that, wouldn't you – to force out my feelings and to remain emotionless to the world? I know you have a past; everyone does. It's _your_ turn to tell_ me_ about your life." His dark eyes lingered on the jagged stones below.

The girl stayed entirely motionless – no movements in the face or body – as she remained silent. Then, surprisingly, she placed her soft foot on the very edge of the roof and stood on the ledge. Then, she began to step forward.

He immediately grabbed her arm and pulled her back with more force than intended. "Why the hell would you do that?!" he snarled into her face.

Her gaze remained fixated on the sky ahead of them. After a period of silence, she finally answered, _To see what would happen._

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**-sulks in dark corner-**


	18. A Twist of Fate

**People!!! I RETURN!!! MUAH HA HA HA HA HA!!! Thought I left you all, eh? Well be happy because I have new chappy for all you wonderful chickens. Yes, chickens.**

**YAY!!!!!!!**

**Okie dokie!!! Here ya go now.

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The wind blew in cold gusts atop the Tower roof. His hair swayed before his deep green eyes, which were staring intensely at the girl at his side. Her vivid purple eyes remained fixed on the white sky hanging low above them, her iridescent colorless hair waving in the breeze. He had the strong desire to take her by the shoulders and violently shake her, as if that would make her understand the consequence of her thoughtless action.

"I don't understand you at all," he finally said after a long pause. His voice sounded weak and defeated against the harsh contrast of the gusting wind around them. She said nothing. Her smooth white skin glistened in the winter daylight, her pale eyelashes unmoving. Her eyes no longer contained the look of deep and complex thought, but appeared as though they were slightly glazed over and absent of anything.

Noticing this, he added blandly, "You don't make any sense." When she didn't respond, he sighed and began to walk away, assuming that she was undergoing one of her lethal silent spells. He was stopped only a few feet away from her when she began to speak once more.

_You are right_, she said. _I don't._

Puzzled and slightly annoyed that she continued to persist on remaining so mysterious, he turned to look at her. She hadn't moved a centimeter. "What do you mean by that?" he demanded, already impatient with her.

For a split second, he thought he saw her flinch in the slightest movement, but it happened so fast he couldn't determine if it had been his imagination or not. Slowly, in a dream-like manner, she turned to face him, her eyes reflecting the same blank expression she had worn always.

_I mean _I _don't make sense_. It seemed as though a bitter laugh passed through her eyes, though no sound was made and her mouth hadn't moved. _Why do I exist? What is the purpose of me standing before you? Answers to these questions I have none. Where I can possibly find these answers is unknown to me._

Her powerful gaze penetrated into his skin, as though a blade had sunken into his chest. She seemed to be waiting for him to answer, but he had nothing to give. The silence pulsed through the air, knocking away the choice of not responding. Finally, he remarked awkwardly, "Well, does anyone really know the answers to those questions? I have no purpose either."

Again, there was a sudden flash in her eyes. This time it looked like _amusement_. Her facial expression, was immobile as she related, _Yes you do. You know what it is. Don't deny that you have a purpose. You revealed it to me earlier._ A knowing look and a smirk was revealed in her eyes, though he didn't understand how it was possible that he could even see that.

A confused expression passing over his features, he opened his mouth to respond, but found he had no comeback to her utterly true remark. "I . . . ," he began, but couldn't form coherent words on his pale green lips. Finally, after a moment of stumbling over his own thoughts, he replied, "Why do I even care? Go ahead, jump off the roof. I don't give a shit."

He turned to make his signature exit, but she stopped him in his tracks. Instead of prolonging their normal conversations with her long silences and eerie disregard, she responded straightaway, as if in contempt, though her voice brushing against his mind maintained its even calmness. _Why _do_ you care? That is a good inquiry indeed. Why would you, a cold and broken creature, care enough to reveal his pitiful life story to a complete stranger? Why is it that though I have given no information about myself to you, you continue to expose your entire self to me? I am not the only one who does not make any sense. I believe it true that you would not care if I decidedly fell to the ground below, yet you are a creature I cannot understand. Why do you still allow me to be here? Why?_

The breeze picked up slightly, blowing more of his green hair into his forest eyes. With his back turned to her, his fists clenched, the veins in his wrists becoming stained and enlarged. His head was lowered, and his muscles throughout his body tightened. "You want to know why?" he whispered in a low, angry voice. "You _really _want to know?" He turned towards her, his eyes no longer visible under the shadow cast across his face. "Maybe I'm tired of holding everything inside! Maybe I needed someone to talk to! Maybe you remind me of – !" He stopped short, his voice raised to a high volume. His chest moved up and down in deep breaths, his breathing rate quickened by anger.

Suddenly, he dropped to the ground, water from the snow surrounding him spreading throughout his clothes. His knees pulled close to him, he held his head low, encased in his hands covering his face. Sobs emitted from his wiry figure. The picture held within the girl's reflective purple eyes was that of complete defeat and hopelessness. It was the first time she could feel his sincere grief, not tainted by bitterness, but truly from the core of his heart, his entire storage of pent-up sorrow and heartache spilling out.

Almost tiredly, the girl came to his side and knelt next to him, unexpected to both him and her. He continued to mourn in anguish, as she looked upon him silently. The fluttering of feathers was heard from above as several birds of black flew across the cloudy, white sky.

And for a moment, he didn't feel so alone anymore.

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**Review.**

**You don't have anything better to do.**

**And for all of you that just said, 'yes, I do': No, you don't.**

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	19. Leaving

**Hey, everyone. It's been a long time since I updated last . . . I think. I don't even remember. So . . . yeah. I don't have the energy to come up with some witty way to introduce this chapter, so pretty much just read if you want.

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For days afterward, silence continued to be a barrier between them. Aside from awkward muttering of apologies when they bumped into one another on occasion, the air remained empty with unspoken words. He almost thought that if he reached his arm out, he could grasp the tension infused in the space around him, as if it were some tangible object attempting to suffocate him.

The fourth day that it continued, he found himself at loss for what to do. What had he done before his days were filled with painful words of past being spoken to her? He felt as though he had lived separate lives – one with his parents, another alone within the city, one along with the Doom Patrol, another as a Teen Titan, one after the terrible loss of his love, and another beginning with the presence of the pale girl. Reflecting over the segments of his life, he came to the realization that only one out of the entire six had been truly happy without scars tainting his soul. How he longed for the innocence and purity he had as a child; how he yearned to erase all the pain marring him from the past. Each time he passed from one 'life' to the next, more of his self was lost in the whirlpool of grief he endured.

He struggled to retain his anger at the girl. He wanted to be mad at her; he wanted to hate her, but he found he was unable to. After all, who else was to comfort him in the times he needed it most? This girl was the only one he had left, and he didn't even know her name.

Wandering through the halls of the Tower on the eighth day of silence, it suddenly struck him that she could have left. He hadn't seen her in three days; was she even her anymore?

All at once, he was overcome with a sense of dread. He was immediately surprised at this – he didn't care about her. Yet, he grew frantic at the notion of her leaving him alone. His legs became jittery and his hands began to shake. She couldn't leave. She wouldn't. Right?

All of the sudden, he was running through the Tower, looking in every possible place she might be in. He raced through every hallway, swinging open every door, his bloodshot eyes scanning each and every room he encountered. He even went into the basement and up on the roof, even in his old room. His heart beat rapidly, his eyes shifting everywhere, forever searching in vain. The echoes of his hurried, nervous footsteps bounced of the hall walls into nothingness, until they were no more.

He was back in the Main Room now, his hopes crushed and heart shattered. Defeated, he slumped against the wall and crumpled to the ground. Fresh tears prickled in his eyes despite all he tried to hold them back, and spilled onto his pale green cheeks. He was sure she'd given up on him the way everybody else had. She'd thought he was pathetic and worthless, which he was, and had decided that she hadn't deserved to punished by being in his presence. His chest contorted and he let out a painful sob. When was the last time he cried for someone other than Raven or his parents?

Back against the wall with his knees pulled close to him, he whispered, "I don't want to be alone anymore." His grip tightened. "I don't want to be alone anymore!" he screamed, his voice breaking. Fierce tears rolled down his cheeks as he pulled his long hair ferociously. Grabbing a fallen, broken stool near him, he threw it with all his strength, causing it to clatter loudly on the floor. He rocked back and forth, his fingers still grasping his greasy green hair. Sobs shook his body as anguish blinded his eyes with hot tears. He could feel the sharp, jagged blade of reality sink into him silently, cutting off his life into a world of pain.

With sudden resolve, he jumped off the floor. Knowing exactly what he wanted, he bolted down the hall to a door he threw open. He stomped down the filthy stairs leading into a long forgotten basement filled with insignificant objects lost in the past. Ignoring the fastidious rats scattering around the grimy floor, he tore through a pile of old dusty boxes, ripping through sodden cardboard musty from age.

After discarding meaningless things that were not what he was looking for, he finally found it. Running his hand over the smooth metal of the briefcase, he cleared an area between the rubbish he went through and attempted to click open the latch. It was locked. Cursing angrily, he smashed the briefcase into the floor until it was finally dented enough that he could slip his hand inside and pry it open with a furious force he wasn't previously aware he possessed.

Finally, lying before him was an array of handguns placed in old black spongy material. They'd had them in the basement for quite some time, but only in case of extreme circumstances. Robin had thought that guns were too dangerous and harmful to others, and he didn't want the Titans using them. "We want to stop criminals, not kill them," he'd explained one day.

Now, he took out a large silver one and made sure that it was loaded. One bullet was all he needed.

Running up the stairs with gun in hand, he burst into the Main Room once more, tears blurring his vision. In front of the large window at the end of the room that stretched across the entire wall, he dropped to his knees and let out one last sob. He couldn't do this anymore. Life was just too much for him; torturing himself by living had overwhelmed him. He couldn't stand being by himself any longer; at least this way he'd be with the people he once loved and still did love.

Bringing the gun to his head, he closed his eyes, letting the last of his hot tears escape his forest green eyes. Then, he moved his shaking finger to pull the trigger.

But he didn't escape the pain; blackness didn't engulf him in a bliss he so longed for. He opened his eyes, and in disgust, he saw he was still living and still in this wretched Tower, looking out at this wretched city. New tears sprung to his eyes. _No! Why did this happen to me? Why can't I just leave this terrible place forever?_ he screamed in his mind.

He felt the gun slowly leaving his hand. In defeat, he slumped to the ground, knowing that it was her. She had to save the day, like always. It was her that caused him to pick up the gun, but also her that took it away. It was her. Always her.

For a moment, the pale girl thought she'd been too late the way his skinny body crumpled to floor like that in front of her vivid purple eyes. Just as she was certain death had truly taken him and she'd failed, she finally saw his chest rise and fall in a deep, strained breath. She recognized that he was resisting breathing, but his body insisted on filling his lungs with air.

Knowing that what she said would not take effect on him, she merely stood at his side silently, the destructive weapon weighing heavily in her pale, delicate hands. She looked onto his gaunt body curled up and shaking, all too familiar tears staining his cheeks, his eyes squeezed tightly shut.

Minutes passing by painfully, she finally felt she had to attempt to comfort him somehow. _It will be okay_, she said silently.

Finally, his eyes opened. They were dull and lifeless, staring into nothingness. "No," he said quietly in despair. "It won't."

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